so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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