i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
