My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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