So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
