Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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