Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
