you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
