Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
