so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
