There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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