Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
