The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
