i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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