Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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