New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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