this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
