Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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