But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
