toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
