So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
