So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
