how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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