after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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