why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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