I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
