Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
