You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
