no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
