forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
