its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love having hate sex.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I will pee on everything he values.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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