The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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