hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
