I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
