if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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