I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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