Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
