You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
