After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
