can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
