alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
