There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
