you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
