Pappa wants mamma naked
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize