I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
