I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
