Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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