we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
