smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
