Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
