Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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