I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize