Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
