They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize