You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
