the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
