I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
