The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
