just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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