she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
